May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady
Please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady
Please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here
Ya'll act like you never seen
A white person before
Jaws all on the floor like
Pam like Tommy just
Burst in the door
Started whoopin her as*
Worse than before
They first get divorced
Throwing her over furniture
It's the return of the
"Oh wait, no way,
You're kidding
He didn't just say
What I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said
Nothing you idiots Dr. Dre's dead
He's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady
I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around
Grabbing his you know what
Limpin' to you know who
"Yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple
Of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going
On in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV
And just let loose,
But can't, but
Its cool for Tom Green
To hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips
My bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might
Just give it a little kiss
And that's the message
That we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know
What a womens clit*ris is
Of course they gonna know
What intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel
Don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals
Well some of us cannibals
Who cut other people
Open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump
Dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason
That a man
And another man can't elope
But if you feel like
I feel I got the antidote
Women wave your panty hose
Sing the chorus and it goes

CHORUS:
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
Are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up (x3)
Because I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
Are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady
Please stand up (x3)

Will Smith don't gotta cuss
In his raps to sell records
Well I do, so f*** him
And f*** you too
You think I give a damm
About a Grammy?
Half of you critics
Can't even stomach me
Let alone stand me
"But Slim what if you win
Wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can
Just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here
Next to Britney Spears
Sh*t, Christina Aguilera
Better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to
Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over
Who she gave head to first
Little b**** put me
On blast on MTV
"Yeah he's cute but I think
He's married to Kim, he he"
I should download
Her audio on MP3
And show the whole world
How you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little
Girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me
So I've been sent
Here to destroy you
And there's a million of us
Just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a
F*** like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be
The next best thing
But not quite me

Repeat chorus

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with
Your friends inside
Your living room
The only difference is
I got the balls
To say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false
Or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it
I just sh*t it better than 90%
Of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids
Eat up these albums like valiums
Its funny 'cause at the rate
I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person
In the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses as*es
When I'm jackin' off
With Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag
Of viagra isn't working
And every single person
Is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King
Spitting on your onion ring
Or in the parking lot circling
Screaming I don't give a f***
With his windows down
And system up
So will the real Shady
Please stand up
And put one of those fingers
On each hand up
And to be proud to be
Outta your mind and outta control
And one more time,
Loud as you can
How does it go?

Repeat chorus